What Is Neurodivergence?

In every family, there’s a beautiful variety of personalities, communication styles, and ways of seeing the world. Sometimes, that variety includes what’s known as neurodivergence—a term that’s becoming more familiar, yet still carries a lot of misunderstanding. At its core, it simply means that some brains are wired differently. And different isn’t wrong. It’s just… different.

When we begin to understand what neurodivergence is and how it might show up in our families, we can shift from frustration or confusion to curiosity and connection. And that’s where true harmony begins. Neurodivergence refers to variations in how people's brains work. This includes differences in attention, learning, communication, movement, sensory experiences, and emotional regulation. People who are neurodivergent may have ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, sensory processing differences, or other ways of thinking and feeling that diverge from what’s considered “typical.”

Some feel more included by having a diagnosis or labeling things, some prefer not to - and that’s ok. Either way we are invited to recognize that there’s more than one “right” way to experience and respond to the world. For some it is a disability, for others it is a superpower or gift. For some it can be both. In all the different ways we choose to express ourselves it really comes down to how well we embrace understanding and growth so we can lead beautiful, functional and healthy lives.

What Does It Look Like in Everyday Life?

Neurodivergence can show up in many ways, some subtle and others more noticeable:

• A child who melts down in loud or chaotic spaces yet loves going to school.

• A teenager who needs routine to feel grounded yet is frequently impulsive.

• A partner who struggles with executive tasks but excels with creativity.

• A family member who avoids gatherings yet has loyal friends through shared interests.

These differences aren’t always signs of a problem. They’re signals of a unique way of processing life.

Why It Matters in Family Dynamics

When we don’t recognize or understand neurodivergence, we might assume someone is being defiant, lazy, or inconsiderate. But when we shift our mindset to ask what do we all need in order to feel safe, seen, and supported?—everything changes.

This shift helps us:

• Respond to challenges with empathy instead of punishment.

• Communicate more consciously, clearly and effectively.

• Create rhythms and routines that support everyone’s nervous system.

• Build trust and connection, even across differences.

Families thrive not when everyone is the same, but when everyone is allowed to be themselves and still belong.

Is my Toddler Neurodivergent?

When a toddler is neurodivergent—especially one with both autism and ADHD (sometimes called AuDHD)—daily life can feel like a puzzle with pieces that don’t quite fit the way you expected. You might notice your child is deeply sensitive to sound, struggles with transitions, or becomes overwhelmed in busy environments. They may seem constantly in motion one moment, then suddenly retreat into silence or need solitude the next.

This is because toddlers often have big feelings in little bodies and they are still learning how to express themselves. And, when neurodivergent, their communication might not follow typical milestones but they’re always expressing something—whether through behavior, movement, or quiet observation. They might hyperfocus on one activity for hours or bounce between five in five minutes. Structure helps, but so does flexibility.

This isn’t a child who is being difficult. This is a child whose brain processes the world in a different, beautiful, and sometimes challenging way. With patience, support, and understanding, your toddler isn’t falling behind—they’re simply walking their own meaningful path.

The Quiet Power of Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean we never struggle. It means we’re willing to approach those struggles with openness instead of judgment. It means we hold space for our children (and ourselves) to be human—to grow, adapt, and learn without being forced into a mold that doesn’t fit.

When we stop trying to fix or “normalize” behavior and start trying to understand it, we create a more peaceful and cooperative family environment. Not perfect—just more aligned.

A Gentle Invitation

If you suspect someone in your family might be neurodivergent—or if you already know they are—take a moment to pause and breathe. You don’t need all the answers right away. What matters most is that you’re willing to see differently, to listen more deeply, and to offer support with patience and love.

Every family has its own rhythm. Neurodivergence doesn’t disrupt that rhythm—it becomes part of the music. When we learn to hear it, appreciate it, and move with it, the whole family finds more harmony.

Simple Ways to Support a Neurodivergent Family Member:

• Learn about sensory needs and create calming spaces.

• Use visual schedules or routines when helpful.

• Offer choices to increase autonomy.

• Practice patience—growth takes time.

• Celebrate strengths, not just milestones.

When we nurture understanding at home, we raise children who feel safe and connected to those around them, in turn creating a space of peace. And in a world that doesn’t always reflect this, a sense of peace and belonging is one of the greatest gifts we can give.